i have never hurt like this before

well, today was the saddest sunday of my life. i got released as the first counselor in the relief society presidency in my ward. it was weird, i thought that i was going to feel a sense of relief myself from getting released but instead i felt like a giant hole formed in my heart that i didnt know how to fill. it was strange what an amazing sense of sorrow i felt as i was released. its weird, i have felt a lot of things in my life, and i am no stranger to sorrow, but i had never hurt like that before. it took all of my energy to hold back the tears that were beginning to form in my eyes as we sang the sacrament hymn. then after a while i thought that i had gotten over it and that i was going to be ok, but then, relief society. i walk in and sit down in a desk, not in front of all the girls, and again it hits me, i had never hurt like that before. so when john dewitt came in and invited any girls that wanted to go to missionary prep to come, and since my best friend tania is going on a mission soon i decided that i would go with her. while i was there i really enjoyed it, i love learning about the gospel and i love preach my gospel, so im excited to learn from that. so i was really glad that i had gone. and then after sunday school i talked to ingrid (the new first counsler), and she looked so scared, but i knew that she would do an amazing job. but again, the hurt i felt was so beyond that which i had ever felt before. i still know that it is going to take some time to get over it all, but i know that the Lord will always do what is best for me and for everyone else. im grateful that i will have a new opportunity to serve in a different way in the ward, i just wish that it would have come immediatly, but all good things take time, so i will wait patiently and serve the ward in my own way. <3.

"ive walked through sorrow
til i could walk no more
ive felt the winds of change blow so hard
its chilled me to the core
and pain has knocked at my door
but i have never hurt like this before

only one
can take the pieces of my heart
and make them whole
only one
can part the darkness
and breathe light into my aching soul
one way
one light
one hope
only one

ill pick up the pieces
every little bit
ill gather all of them
even ones that seem impossible to fix
and ill place them all in His hands
what i cannot restore He can

only one
can take the pieces of my heart
and make them whole
only one
can part the darkness
and breathe light into my aching soul
one way
one light
one hope
only one"

-only one written by hilary weeks