i wish that i knew what i know now when i was younger ...

today in my book of mormon class my teacher, brother belnap, asked all of the returned missionaries what they wished they had known, learned or done before serving their mission. these are some of the things that were mentioned:

* prayed more
* learned patience
* read their scriptures everyday
* gave more service
* loved all those around them
* had more faith
* trusted in the Lord and in those around them
* gained a greater understanding of the plan of salvation
* learned more about the creation, the fall, and the atonement
* learned to control their anger
* followed the promptings of the spirit as soon as they came

these are really just a few of the things that were mentioned. as i sat there listening to all of these things i just kept thinking that, although i have never served a mission, all of those things were things i wish i would have known, learned, or done in my youth. what important things they all are. they can bless our lives so much and keep us so safe from sin and temptation. i wish that i knew what i know now when i was younger. i wish that i put in as much effort to read my scriptures, say my prayers, and learn through the spirit. i wish that i knew what i know now when i was younger. i wish that i had taken the time to learn more about the gospel, more about the importance of the temple and sacred ordinances and covenants made there. i wish that i knew what i know now when i was younger. i wish that i partook of the sacrament with a greater understanding of the atonement, and that i was more willing to use that atonement for my advantage to more fully bless my own life. i wish that i knew what i know now when i was younger. i wish i knew the love that my parents have for me and that i had an understanding of all that they do for me and all of the time they spend praying for me, loving me, caring for me, worrying about me, and helping me. i wish that i knew what i know now when i was younger. i wish that i was more open to helping others and allowing others to help me. i wish that i knew what i know now when i was younger. i wish i felt the urgency to be better than i am, to "rise up and have done with lesser things." i wish that i knew what i know now when i was younger. i wish that i knew that i could trust in the Lord in every aspect of my life, that He knows better than I, and that His will, not mine, will bring me true happiness in life. i wish that I knew what I know now when i was younger. i wish that i turned to the Lord in trials, and knew that His gospel could heal my soul and piece my life back together better than anything else. i wish that I knew what I know now when i was younger. i wish i knew the blessings and strength that can come from a fathers blessing, and that it is okay to ask for a fathers blessing for things other than just sickness or school. i wish that i knew what i know now when i was younger. i wish that i had tried a little harder, done a little better, and stuck it out a little longer. i wish that i knew what i know now when i was younger. i wish that i saw and loved others the way that my Savior sees and loves them. i wish that i knew what i know now when i was younger. i wish that i had turned to my parents when i was going through a hard time or had a problem. there are so many things that i know now that i wish i would have known when i was younger. things that i wish i would have seen, or noticed. too many times we just don't allow ourselves the opportunity to grow, whether it is because we are too scared, too unaware, or too prideful. i wish that i would have allowed myself those opportunities. i wish that i didn't have to look back on my life and wonder why i waited so long to figure out all the things that i know. the knowledge that i have is so immense, i am continually astonished by it. i am so grateful to know that the things that i have learned, and the things that i have a knowledge of are true. that they are unwavering. that they are real. that they are the only way to live my life that will truly bring me happiness. that they are there to bless my life, even when it seems like they might be more of a hinderance or punishment. i truly do wish that i knew what i know now when i was younger. what a difference it would have made in my life.

what i know now:
(this is a quote from "the fellowship of the unashamed" given in a talk by Elder Eyring, but it pretty much sums up what i know now and how i feel about what i know.)
"I am part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made; I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow down, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I'm finished and done with low living, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tinted visions, worldly talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals. I no longer need pre-eminence, positions, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right, first recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk with patience, am lifted up in prayer, and labor with power. My face is set, my goal is heaven. My road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few, my guide is reliable, my mission is clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, divided or delayed, will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the adversary, negotiate at the table with the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I won't give up, shut up, or let up until I have stayed up, stored up, and paid up for the cause of Christ. I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work till He stops me and when He returns for His own He will have no problem recognizing me."

I love this gospel. What a blessing and a joy it is in my life. I am grateful everyday for parent's who were wise enough and brave enough to live it's teachings everyday and to the fulness of their ability. It has made all the difference in my life.

scripture of the day:

it is your lucky day ... for today i have two scriptures of the day!!

Enos 1: 4-5 And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens. And there came a voice unto me, saying: Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed.

Alma 5: 14 And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?

today i am thankful for:

* the sneaky little 'devil' who put money into my account so i can be more able to make it home. (thank you anonymous giver).

* stephanie and her printer since my printer has decided to give up and die.

* brother belnap and all of the many insights i learn from him and his class.

* the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

* family

* the funny squirrel who keeps trying to break into our house to eat the cookies on the table.

* what i know now.

<3.